That is the question of the week. Or rather, the semester. Here are a few things I have been learning recently, both in class and out:
1. An author knows exactly how many pages are in each chapter. And by god if one chapter rambles on too long, they know about it. And if they are like me, it annoys them half to death.
2. Sitting down and writing a novel sounds a lot more fun when studying for an environmental test is the alternative. Also, blogposts tend to generate around that same time... I wonder why this is... Damn you biweekly quizzes!
3. You cannot ask a group of creative writing majors what their favorite book is and why, and get a simple answer. When asked in class, the five of us said things like, "I like so and so book because it really shows the growth of the character and it is very suspenseful and I really like that it was told from this point of view because it showed rather than told..." You know, things like that. I even said my favorite was Harry Potter because I liked how it empowered children and young adults and some other BS like that (although that is true--I do like it for that reason). But really, think about this: what is your favorite book and why do you like it? Really think about this for a moment. Then see number ten.
4. You cannot fool your subconscious. If you are trying to write a story about a chocolate monster but keep on going back to the relationship the main character had with his mother, your story will not end up being about the chocolate monster. The chocolate monster will become a device that pushes your main character into a realization about his mommy issues and then all of a sudden, your book is an Oedipal story rather than a thriller.
5. Speaking of Oedipus, imagine this: Oedipus on the Jerry Springer show. Okay, hold on, I'll explain. This is actually about originality--betcha didn't see that one coming. There is actually very little "original" work that is being created today. Most everything has been done before--what hasn't been done is the how, the character, and the reaction. You see, Oedipus wasn't even new for the Greeks. They saw it knowing that Oedipus kills his father and sleeps with his mother. They went to see the reaction. They went because, let's face it, you feel god damned superior when you know something a character doesn't. You feel like a god. This is why it works. Because the readers have to know everything. The characters don't have to know shit (I swear this is a direct quote from my advisor). So, back to Jerry Springer. You had better believe that you would be glued to the set if you saw Oedipus up there with "Slept with his mother and killed his father--doesn't know it yet" under his picture. You would wait around for his reaction. To see how this is going to resolve itself.
6. Everybody dies. Shocker. But what this means is, there really aren't any happy endings. Every story will end this way (unless of course it is fantasy and immortality is involved, but that's a different story and frankly I don't feel like getting into it because I have to study for environmental and it's almost one am). Which just goes to show you that you read books for the middle. You read them for the journey. So go ahead--read the end of the book before you start. You're still gonna read it. Cause most of us want to know why so much more than we want to know what.
7. Epiphanies don't happen in real life. There is no moment when you have a moment of psychological clarity where everything changes. Unless, of course, you are Buddha (and even he had to work for it over a long period of time).
8. I realized that the stories I personally love are the stories that create suspense, dynamic characters, a believable and consistent voice, and great worlds in themselves. And I realized that most of my absolute favorite books all have inadvertent heroes. Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen (god I still hate her name...), a lot of Tamora Pierce's characters, The Pevensie children, Frodo, Lyra and Will--none of these children set out to be heroes (or even wanted to be). Although, okay, Edmund might have started out that way, but he was reformed. But all these characters rose to the challenge. They made the best of the time that was given to them, as Gandalf would say. Perhaps why I like these books so much is because it allows all children to feel empowered, as all those characters were once regular joes too. Or maybe it's because I like the idea that greatness is most potent when it is thrust upon someone, rather than searched for for a lifetime.
9. I have over forty pages of writing now, and I'm heading into new territory. Bizarre for two reasons: first, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore--I'm just writing so I get everything out now, and second because I am perfectly aware that I will have to rewrite just about forty pages of what I've already written eventually. Because I'm learning just how much better you get to know your characters the farther you get into a book. I just had a day long sit down with one of my characters and killed her father. Clearly she is not too happy with me.
10. The characters. This is why you love books. You love Harry Potter because of, you got it, Harry Potter. And Sirius, and Ron, and Hermione, and all the Weasleys. You love Lord of the Rings because Gandalf is a badass (probably you don't love it because of Frodo though, because let's face it--he's super annoying). You love The Chronicles of Narnia because of the Pevensies. And specifically High King Peter the Magnificent, if you are anything like me. Which brings me to an immediate realization: OMG do I actually like Katniss Everdeen? I must, because I have to say, these books are growing on me.
But (damn now I can't stop--I really have to study!) I have figured out some of the reasons why I am having trouble with the Hunger Games. Apart from the whole terrible name thing, I mean (also--Brutus? Really? Couldn't we be a little more original? Or clever--I know I just said originality almost doesn't exist...). It's because Suzanne Collins is playing up the Gale/Peeta debate so hardcore. I mean it is absolutely ridiculous, seeing as Gale has been in the books for a grand total of about ten pages. Sure, she thinks about him a lot, but he has not been physically present for the entirety of the two books I've read, save maybe four scenes.
So here are my thoughts: it's fine that she wants to do this whole boy team thing--but she could have waited until the third book to bring Gale into the picture. Because really, a sixteen year old girl who has just lived through an experience like the Hunger Games would fall head over heels in love with not only the only available person who has had the same experience, but also the boy who saved her life and would have given his for hers. There is no question. Seriously, put yourself in this position, add a really attractive boy (or girl) and try to imagine a world in which you would then immediately decide you need to get the hell away from this person so they don't marry you. YOU WOULD BE ATTACHED AT THE HIP PEOPLE! There would be none of this wishy-washy will-they-won't-they mamby-pamby shit. At least initially. It would have been so much better, at least in my mind, if she waited to fall for Gale until they were alone in the third one, because the guilt element would be so much stronger and create a MUCH bigger conflict. Read them, and you will know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, that said, I do really like these books. Read them. Read anything. Go see a play. Write down what you did today. Add a swear word (cause apparently I'm all afuckingbout that tonight)--whoops, sorry mother.
What type of writer do you want to be?
I want to be the published kind.
I'll name my dog High King Peter the Magnificent, but call him Maggie,
L.R. Ogden
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